Behavior Guide for Back Talk
Step 1. Call out any back talk on the spot
Any time your child uses back talk, name it on the spot. He is then clear on what you expect. "That's back talk. I don't listen to that kind of talk." Make sure he knows what he did wrong and how to make it right.
Step 2. Refuse to engage when your child talks back
Children are much more likely to stop talking back if they see it's ineffective in getting our attention. So refuse to continue the conversation until your child stops talking back and be sure to do it every time. Usually when kids see you are not going to give in, they will stop.
Step 3. If back talk continues, set a consequence
Suppose that you have been clear with your expectations, yet the back talk continues. It is time for a concequence. It must be clear to the child, have specific duaration, relate directly to the back talk, and fit the kid. Once set, consistently enforce it and don't back down! One more thought; do ocnsider letting your child participate in creating her own concequences-they often are much more harsher than ones you would set.
Step 4.
Encourage Respectful Behavior
One of the simplest ways to increase the frequency of any behavior is to reinforce it when we see our child doing it right. The majority of the time we point out when they are acting incorrectly. So any time you see or hear your kids acting respectfully, express your pleasure and acknowledge his progress.
Taming Temper Tantrums
Toddlers throw tantrums for many reasons-some big some small. A shoe may feel small or a toy won't fit right. And to make matters worse you won't let them climb on top of the kitchen table. Toddlers have tantrums because they get frustrated very easily. Most toddlers don't talk much. They have trouble asking for things and expressing their feelings. They also have few problem solving skills. Tantrums are most likely to happen when toddlers are hungry, exhausted, or over excited.
Preschoolers are less likely to throw tantrums. They have developed more coping skills and are able to communicate better. Still, when dinner is late or when things get frustrating, your preschooler may begin to behave more like a 2 year old! Some children learn at this age that tantrums can be used to get something they want. If caregivers give into demands, tantrums may begin to occur with greater frequency.
Although schoolagers have more problem solving skills, they find them inadequate for the complex social situations that school presents.
Learning to get along with friends, work as part of a team, or compete in sport requires skillls that many older kids haven't fully developed yet. Kids who have limited problem solving skills or difficulty expressing themselves with words are likely to have temper tantrums or fits of anger. Older children can learn to recognize when they are feeling upset or frustrated and learn acceptable ways to deal with their anger.
How to Handle a Tantrum
1. Try to remain calm. Shaking, spanking, or screaming at a child only tends to make the tantrum worse instead of better. Set a positive example for children by remaining in control of yourself and your emotions.
2.Pause Before You Act. Take at least thirty seconds to decide how you will handle the tantrum. Four possible ways to deal with a tantrum include:
Distract-Try to get the child's attention focused on something else. If he screams when you take him away from something unsafe (like your purse), offer him something else to play with. This technique works well with toddlers.
Remove- Take the child to a quiet, private place to clam down. This should be a quiet cooling down place that is away from other children. Avoid trying to talk or reason with a screaming child. It doesn't work! Stay nearby until you see that she has calmed down. Then you can talk and return to whatever you were doing.
Ignore-Older children will sometimes throw tantrum to get attention. Try ignoring the tantrum and going about your business as usual.
Hold-Holding an out of control child calmly is sometimes necessary to keep him from hurting himself or someone else. You might also say something like"I can see you are angry right now, and I am going to hold you until you calm down. I won't let ypou hurt me or anyone else." Often this approach can be comforting to a child. Children don't like to be out of control can be very reassuring.
3. Wait until the child calms down-Then Talk. It's difficult to reason with a screaming child. Insist on a "cooling down" period, and follow up with a discussion about behavior. Use this opportunity to teach the child "okay" ways to handle anger and difficult situations. With practice, preschoolers and school-agers can learn:
-how to ask for help
-when to go somewhere to "cool down"
-how to try a more successful way of doing something
-how to express feelings with words (rather than hitting, kicking, or screaming)
4.Comfort and Reassure the Child. Tantrums really scare most kids. Often, they are not sure why they feel so angry and feel rather shaken when it is all over. They need to know that you disapprove of their behavior, but that you still love them.
Consulting a Physician.
You should consult a physician if the following occur:
* Temper tantrums are severe, last long, or happen very often.
* Your Child has a lot of trouble talking and cannot let you know what he / she needs.
* Temper tantrums continue after 3 or 4 years.
* Your child has signs of illness along with temper tantrums or holds his/her breath to cause fainting.
* Your child harms himself /herself or others during tantrums.
